Category: Malaysia

With less than two weeks to go before the eagerly anticipated public holiday to mark the King’s birthday, he changed the date … again! I wondered what would happen in other countries if a public holiday was changed at such short notice … rioting in the streets, probably.  Here they just shrug and accept it,… Continue reading The Rotating King’s rotating birthday

As a belated celebration of Ascot, Henley, Wimbledon and the whole English summer season, I hosted a Pimm’s party last night. I had originally planned it for 4 July – but an American friend cut up rough about that … can’t think why. I held my ground, insisting that 4 July was a perfect day… Continue reading Keeping up standards in the colonies

I went on my first jungle hike this week. ‘Don’t pee in the forest,’ Frankie said sternly as he drove us out to the jungle. I promised that I wouldn’t, thinking that this was a very sensible rule, given all the snakes and spiders and other nasties that you wouldn’t want to find attached to… Continue reading Don’t pee in the forest!

I’m starting to realise that I’ve never been particularly vain;  I’ve always prioritised being healthy and in (relatively) good shape, rather than wanting to look 20 years younger than I am. This approach to life, which I can only attribute to serendipity rather than wisdom, must have saved me shedloads of cash and endless trauma… Continue reading Succumbing to the lure of dental tourism

No expat should pass up the opportunity to spend a couple of days in hospital in another country, just to enhance the immersive experience. My weekend jaunt to the local private hospital cost about as much as a weekend at the Dorchester, and was considerably less fun. The view from my room wasn’t bad But… Continue reading Another must-do ticked off the list

As W.C. Fields so memorably said, ‘Never work with children or animals.’ Actually, I need to be careful what I say here, because Mr Toad is reading over my shoulder and he has a very disapproving expression on his face. So I will concentrate on the ‘not working with children’ bit, and leave animals out… Continue reading “… and then he farted defiantly.”

Today marks the end of Ramadan, and in the true spirit of Malaysian gourmandising we decided to go to an all-you-can-eat brunch. Our choice of venue – a prosecco and pork extravaganza – wasn’t exactly in keeping with Islamic principles, but the intention was there. Then on to a gin palace, where behaviour deteriorated somewhat… Continue reading Happy Hari Raya

Manglish is an English-based creole used in Malaysia. They also use British English, which is considered to be a second language rather than a foreign language in Malaysia, but it is a very idiosyncratic type of British English and takes some getting used to. For a start they use some very quaint words and expressions,… Continue reading Getting to grips with Manglish

I knew Ramadan was going to be a big thing in Malaysia when I saw that Tesco was selling special Ramadan boxes of tissues – Hari Raya is the Malay name for Eid, which will be celebrated next Sunday after a month of fasting. In the daytime, it’s difficult to notice much difference, as most… Continue reading My first Ramadan

Returning from my whirlwind trip back to the UK last week, I had a bizarre encounter with an amorous travel agent at the airport as I waited for my cab. Me: No, I’m not going to meet you for a glass of wine, I’m afraid. Him: Please don’t worry, I’m afraid too. … not exactly… Continue reading Another dose of crabs

I can’t believe that I’d never heard of Plate Culture until last week. And now that I’ve become a devotee, I can’t believe that it only exists in SE Asia – it’s such a fantastic idea. At the risk of being accused of epicurean evangelism, let me try to convert you. If you’re lucky enough… Continue reading Stuffing myself yet again

One thing I love about living in a big city is that there’s so much going on and so much choice; whether it’s restaurants, bars, hip coffee shops, music venues, karaoke bars, exercise classes … just scroll through the options and you’ll find one that’s just perfect for you. Having spent the past ten years… Continue reading On the yoga trail

Is there anything more rewarding in this life than teaching three-year-olds?  Watching little eyes open in wonder?  Seeing young minds flourish and blossom? Yes, is the resounding answer to that question … a long list of things actually, starting with herding cats, and ending with painting the Forth Road Bridge or pushing a boulder endlessly… Continue reading In which I devise an ingenious plan …

Did you know that every market in Malaysia has at least one jungle stall? No – neither did I – until yesterday, when I went on a cookery course which began with a trip to the market. The market is literally within spitting distance – and I can’t spit very far – of the school… Continue reading Just popping down to the jungle stall

I’ve been worrying a bit lately about leaving Mr Toad on his own for so long, while I’m at work.  I think he’s lonely, and he spends far too much time watching trashy TV –   So when I saw the advertisement, I just couldn’t resist …     And so far it seems to… Continue reading I have a new pet

I suppose it was inevitable – like junkies drawn irresistibly to Amsterdam – that the Crab Crew would end up on Crab Island, or Pulau Ketam as it’s called in Bahasa. Mr Tan, the man with a van, picked us up and took us to the port for a rather blustery ride across the Straits… Continue reading The Crab Crew go to Crab Island

Have had my first experience of karaoke Asian-style, and I think I’m hooked. Here in Malaysia everyone sits around the edges of the booth, looking at the screen and singing along – a choral performance rather than a solo, with several microphones in every booth.  So, as long as someone knows the tune, you’re in… Continue reading Gin, fags and karaoke … a typical night out in KL

Hopefully not too much … as this was the name plaque on my door at Parents’ Meeting this weekend –   At the other end of the name spectrum – I now have my own meme, which makes me feel totes ahead of the curve .  I arrived at school on Wednesday to find it… Continue reading What’s in a name?

I went on a guided forest hike today, and before we set out the guide gathered us together for the briefing, which included instructions on dealing with leeches. ‘Rule number one,’ he said sternly, ‘is don’t become hysterical.’ A mere five minutes later we had all forgotten this instruction, and there was general hysteria from… Continue reading Everything you’ve ever wanted to know about leeches