Have had my first experience of karaoke Asian-style, and I think I’m hooked. Here in Malaysia everyone sits around the edges of the booth, looking at the screen and singing along – a choral performance rather than a solo, with several microphones in every booth.  So, as long as someone knows the tune, you’re in… Continue reading Gin, fags and karaoke … a typical night out in KL

Hopefully not too much … as this was the name plaque on my door at Parents’ Meeting this weekend –   At the other end of the name spectrum – I now have my own meme, which makes me feel totes ahead of the curve .  I arrived at school on Wednesday to find it… Continue reading What’s in a name?

I went on a guided forest hike today, and before we set out the guide gathered us together for the briefing, which included instructions on dealing with leeches. ‘Rule number one,’ he said sternly, ‘is don’t become hysterical.’ A mere five minutes later we had all forgotten this instruction, and there was general hysteria from… Continue reading Everything you’ve ever wanted to know about leeches

Is this a recognised obsession, or am I the only sufferer? It’s only really surfaced since my arrival in Malaysia.  I spent the previous decade living a mere 10 miles from the home of the Cromer Crab without developing any symptoms at all … apart from a totally understandable urge to snigger at the crab-shaped… Continue reading Crustacean Fixation

We’ve just had Dress Up As Your Favourite Book Character Weekend at school, and we all took it extremely seriously. I had my Professor McGonagall costume imported from England (thank you, Anthony) and then spent hours in front of the mirror working on my role. The stance was very important – But the facial expressions… Continue reading Mr Toad becomes a luvvie

  What do you do when you suddenly realise that a cockroach the size of a fist has materialised from the cloth you’re carrying and is crawling across your decolletage? Well, if you’re anything like me, you scream, drop the cloth and jump around like a demented dervish until the creature flaps its wings –… Continue reading Cockroach in a coma

Today is yet another holiday in Malaysia … I think they have more public holidays than any other country in the world. Today’s holiday is in honour of the Installation of the Rotating King.  I’m just hoping he can stand still long enough for them to put the crown on his head. The installation of… Continue reading Hurrah for the Rotating King!

I have had my portrait painted …     … or crayoned to be more precise.  But it’s a very good likeness, and I shall be keeping it on my fridge.   And here is the artist, displaying another of her latest works –   I am slightly alarmed by the current trend among the… Continue reading A rose by any other name …

There are two newspapers in KL – The Star and The New Straits Times – and I have become an avid reader whenever I’m sitting in a waiting room with papers available. As an expat, I think it’s essential to find out what the current hot topics are among the locals –     and… Continue reading Local papers – don’t you just love them?

Did you know that Marmite is very popular in Malaysia? It’s used in Chinese Malay cooking, where they make  Marmite chicken or even better – Marmite prawns –   I’m sure that even Marmite haters would be converted by just one of these luscious little mouthfuls … it’s practically an umami-overdose, if such a thing… Continue reading You either love it or you hate it

OK – so Malaysia has beaches and sunshine.  It has history too, and the rainforest/jungle is a walking zoo – but all anyone here is interested in is food. Malaysians talk about food in much the same way that Brits talk about the weather.  “Have you eaten yet?” is a common morning greeting, which switches… Continue reading Let’s be honest – it’s all about the food

Penang Hill is 833 metres above sea level, and is reached by a funicular with an ascent which seems almost vertical in places. The top of the hill is a strange mix of ancient and modern; the man-made world and the natural world clinging together on a hilltop.  If you imagine an English bluebell wood… Continue reading In which I discover that David Attenborough is a tad prudish

Have visited the Tropical Spice Garden in Penang.     It’s set in an idyllic location on the coast with tantalising glimpses of the sea through the greenery.     Our guide showed us all sorts of exotic plants –     plus bats –     snakes –     and even the cat’s… Continue reading How to get away with murder

Spending a few days in George Town, capital of Penang. It’s full of cutesy architecture – – and wacky street art. The most famous piece is Children on a Bicycle, which is a photo-must for the cutesy and the humorous. Hunk on a Honda is pretty popular too. There’s also a series of cartoons made… Continue reading Pottering around Penang

A week’s holiday from school – hooray! Anthony has arrived from the UK for a visit.  He attempted to cut his costs by disapparating – but unfortuntely couldn’t manage it without splinching, so had to resort to a more mainstream form of travel. We visited the Batu Caves today – a holy Hindu site guarded… Continue reading Hitting the tourist trail

The dreaded ‘pupil reflections’ bandwagon has reached KL, and my school has leapt enthusiastically on board. Just like in the UK, the children have no idea what to write apart from stating-the-bleedin’-obvious comments about working harder, trying harder etc. But I could certainly empathise with this girl and her issues with wordsh*ts – And it… Continue reading A bad dose of the wordsh*ts

In the interests of research I have been lurking in the bushes this week. On my way home from work one day I heard shouting.  Hurrying along a tree-lined path, thinking someone was in trouble, I saw a red umbrella pushed in between two trees at a rakish angle, with an elderly lady standing in… Continue reading Tree yelling … a potential new hobby

Everyone in KL has a maid.  It’s a bit like having a cleaner in the UK, but they do more, cost less and call you ma’am. What’s not to like?  I resolved to hire one immediately, but then found out about the drawbacks – they can’t be trusted on their own in the house, and… Continue reading A revolutionary new approach to housework