I’ve always seen myself as an urban creature; like the town mouse I prefer a life of feasting and uncertainty to dull simplicity. Whilst a brisk walk in the countryside is lovely on a sunny day, I’ve never been one for nature-spotting – I’m quite happy to leave that to twitchers, whale watchers and David… Continue reading Sarawak: the David Beckham monkey
Category: Malaysia
It’s that time of year again… Ramadan
Ramadan is here again. If you hadn’t realised, you’d soon find out when you tried to get anywhere on the roads from 5 – 7 pm and found them all jammed solid, as people dash home to get ready to break their fast at the appointed time – 7.21 pm today in KL, after an… Continue reading It’s that time of year again… Ramadan
Happy Birthday to me …
I had a jolly spiffing birthday yesterday – Although there was one rather strange moment at work where we all sang Happy Birthday and had cake. What’s so strange about that? Well, it wasn’t for me, it was for some other people at work … whose birthdays were four weeks ago – So I found… Continue reading Happy Birthday to me …
Showers of Owls
Yesterday was an extraordinary day in Malaysia; the ruling party was finally toppled after running the country for 61 years, ever since it became an independent country. The corrupt Prime Minister, who recently rejigged all the electoral boundaries to try to ensure another victory, has been ousted. I woke to a text from our head… Continue reading Showers of Owls
Cakes and Holidays
Elections in Malaysia are positively biblical – you have to return to your home town to vote; you can’t vote in the town where you currently live. I don’t think you actually have to travel there on the back of a donkey, but it’s still a pretty archaic system for the 21st Century. The General… Continue reading Cakes and Holidays
The perils of mispronunication
This week I learned that the words for ‘late’ and ‘sodomy’ in Bahasa are practically indistinguishable to the non-native speaker. So, it’s a good idea for all foreigners to be extremely punctual, thus avoiding the danger of accidentally confessing to a crime and ending up with a twenty-year prison sentence. And then I had an… Continue reading The perils of mispronunication
Popping up to Penang
I’ve learnt that when chums visit you have to stop lolling around on the sofa and go off and do a bit of sightseeing. So when Caroline came to stay, once we’d exhausted the possibilities KL has to offer, we popped up to Penang for a couple of days. We found the most wonderful cake… Continue reading Popping up to Penang
We are not amused …
Malaysians are outraged. Why? You might ask – they’re pretty placid people on the whole. Well, there’s a general election coming up, and the ruling party has been busy changing the electoral boundaries to ensure that there’s a majority of Muslims in every catchment area, so that the National Party gets back into power. The… Continue reading We are not amused …
Releasing my inner Miss Trunchbull
I do love being unkind to children … I think that must be why I decided to go into teaching in the first place. This was my April Fools’ Day prank – I stuck this notice on the door and then hid, along with the first three children who’d arrived to class. They hid under… Continue reading Releasing my inner Miss Trunchbull
Teacher, how do you spell ‘turd’?
I was surprised when a child asked me this the other day. What on earth is she writing about, I wondered, given that the title of the story was supposed to be ‘My First Day at Pirate School’. I obviously looked puzzled, so she elaborated, ‘I can spell first and second but I don’t know… Continue reading Teacher, how do you spell ‘turd’?
What do Donald Trump, the Prince of Wales and three ugly-looking ladies have in common?
The answer could well be that they all have names that I find easy to remember – which is a definite bonus these days. The new school year has brought with it a whole set of new name problems for me … and I used to think I was good with names. Having finally got… Continue reading What do Donald Trump, the Prince of Wales and three ugly-looking ladies have in common?
You can wear any colour you like … as long as it’s red
Things are hotting up for Chinese New Year next week. Interestingly, it’s always called Chinese New Year, or CNY, even by the Chinese. In our usual imperialist way, the West seems to have commandeered the term ‘New Year’ for 1 January – so perhaps we should embrace diversity, acknowledge that other New Years exist and… Continue reading You can wear any colour you like … as long as it’s red
There’s something about Tuesday …
I was in the midddle of explaining an activity in my phonics class yesterday when a five-year-old boy looked up, pointed to my head and asked, ‘Is that a wig?’ I was astonished. Does he really think that I’d pay for a wig that looked like this? If I buy a wig it’ll be long,… Continue reading There’s something about Tuesday …
I think I’ve found my ideal home
When I saw this place, I knew I had to move in immediately – Anyone else care to join me? Rant for today … When you land in KL all you see around the airport are miles and miles of palm oil plantations According to a report online, Malaysia and Indonesia produce 85% of the… Continue reading I think I’ve found my ideal home
Malaysia … home of witchcraft and wizardry
According to a newspaper report, in Malacca alone last year there were 2,492 cases of spells, jinxes and other forms of witchcraft reported to the police. They usually involve bomohs, who are a type of witch doctor/shaman. Now, I’m no medical expert but … … I’m pretty sure there’s a medical term for this which… Continue reading Malaysia … home of witchcraft and wizardry
The School of Hard Knocks
In Malaysia, the School of Hard Knocks is not a precursor of the University of Life and an essential component of any I-dragged-meself-up-by-me-bootstraps success story. It’s actually a workshop where you can go and learn how to make things out of pewter. I already knew that Kuala Lumpur’s fortune was founded on tin. KL was… Continue reading The School of Hard Knocks
A dilemma …
What do you do when you’re out for the evening and you bump into a chap from work and he’s clearly wearing eyeliner and lipstick? … Go and watch him in his panto, of course! It was my first experience of expat amateur dramatics and there were the usual cheesy jokes, songs and topical references… Continue reading A dilemma …
On a foodie tour of Malacca
On a trip to Malacca last week I rekindled my love affair with the Peranakan culture. The Peranakans were also known as the Straits Chinese, and were the first wave of Chinese immigrants from the 14th Century onwards; wealthy merchants who traded in Malacca and intermarried with the local Malays. They had their own culture,… Continue reading On a foodie tour of Malacca
Little Bo-Peep and her helicopter sheep
I’m still getting to grips with Malaysian education. This week a parent asked me to look at his son’s exam paper, to see why he hadn’t scored particularly highly. The exam paper contained several language errors – but the boy already knew that if he didn’t repeat the error in his answer, he’d lose marks,… Continue reading Little Bo-Peep and her helicopter sheep
Ahead of the curve … yet again
I see in the UK press that Nigella is predicting that the next hip ingredient – essential for every foodie refrigerator and food-related hipster conversation – will be pandan. Well – sorry, Nigella, but I’ve been there, done that and got the t-shirt to prove it … or the photos, at least. Here is Mr Toad… Continue reading Ahead of the curve … yet again